The Invisible woman

For a variety of reasons, none of them very compelling, I subscribe to the weekly Yated Ne'eman and the daily Hamodia. I think there are many (OK, maybe that's an exaggeration) positive aspects to both of these papers but there are also quite a few things that bug me. For today, I want to discuss my wife's pet peeve.

WHERE ARE THE WOMEN???

I don't really have a great explanation for this phenomenon. I'm quite sure that halachah does not prohibit them from showing a relevant picture of a tzniyusdik'ly dressed woman. An obituary of a choshuva rebbitzin does not have to show only a picture of her husband. But what bothers me even more than that is that they include even little girls in this policy. My six year old daughter was looking through the Yated and asked me "Tatty, how come there are only boys in these pictures"? I don't want my girls to grow up thinking that they need to be hidden.

The idea that these pictures need to be excluded or that a woman's face (or a five year old girls face) needs to be blurred out doesn't speak well of Jewish men.

I remember a few years ago I was davening on Shabbos in a minyan that was held in a girls school. There was a drawing of a little girl hanging on the wall, with a word bubble coming out of her mouth, I think she was supposed to be singing something. A fellow came over and took the drawing off the wall so that people shouldn't look at it during davening. I was flabbergasted. It's a (bad) drawing of a young girl! I was tempted to tell him that he left the kol isha (the word bubble) on the wall. If such a thing causes people not be able to daven correctly, they should seek emergency therapy.

Jackpot!

I bought a used office chair today from a used office furniture place. It had good leather, high back and felt great. I was googling today about the chair and I found it on the manufacturer's website here. Apparently it's called the Vitra Imago and it's like a high end snazzy chair designed by some Italian dude named Mario Bellini whose signature is engraved on a a metal piece on the back of the chair. The exact same chair in grey is on eBay starting at $1,295. It's going new for $4740 over here.

Most sites selling it are in German so I can't figure them out, but I know that the $75 I paid was probably a darn good deal. :)

I'll be watching the eBay listings closely. If someone out there is dumb enough to pay big money for those, this baby is going up for sale.

Slow down!

A young, frum girl was struck by a minivan in Lakewood last night driven by a frum woman. B"H she will be okay.

I don't, God forbid, mean to accuse the woman driver of anything. I honestly have no idea whose fault this was. The street is dark, the girl may have not seen the van, the driver may have not seen her, I don't know.

What I do know is that people speed down these suburban sidestreets like they're on a highway. I see this all the time (again, I am not referring to the driver in this case). There's a tremendous difference between 25 and 40 MPH. I see cars tearing through parking lots like they're stealing second base. You're in a rush? Is that really a reason to endanger lives?

I don't know what it is, but for some reason the frum population are in general, terrible drivers. I can't put my finger on why that would be, but it's something I've noticed all too often, and maybe you have as well. I can usually tell a frum driver from a distance and not just because the car is a Buick LeSabre.

For example, last night I pulled up to a red light behind a pickup truck driven by someone who certainly did not look Jewish. There were two lanes, the pickup was in the left lane. I stayed in the left lane behind the pickup truck and the guy pulling up behind me did the same (Right turn on red is permitted, so it's an unstated courtesy to leave the lane open for someone who would want to turn right). A young frum man in his Toyota Avalon pulls up in the right lane so that he can cut off everyone the instant before the light turns green. I mean really, are you in such a hurry? And if you are do you really think the 1/4 second you saved was worth the Chilul Hashem?

Slow down. Your lunch/dinner will still be warm a minute later.

Gasoline too expensive?

Can this be the answer?

To answer or not to answer...

And now for something entirely different.

Did it ever happen that you were davening somewhere, and the person davening next to you was obviously vocally challenged; he is unable to whisper. So he is davening shemona esrai and you can clearly hear every word that he is saying. This has happened to me, and I was wondering, should I answer amen to his brochos or not? (Obviously, after I finished shemona esrai.)

The consensus of the opinions that I was able to find was that one should not answer amen to such brachos. The reasons, however, were not all identical.

R. Yosef Shalom Elyashiv (Moriah Vol. 11-12 - kislev 5764, page 48) rules, that:

One who hears his friend davening the quiet shemona esrai, is forbidden from answering amen on the brachos of his friend, because [there is a rule that] we do not answer amen on a bracha that is shelo k'din, and brachos of the quiet shemona esrai that are said audibly are shelo k'din and thus amen should not be said.

R. Shlomo Zalmen Aurbach (Halichos Shelomo, 8:32) rules that:

One who hears the quite shemona esrai of his friend, even though he (i.e. the one who hears) is no longer davening, should not answer amen.

In the footnotes (#45) this ruling is explained as follows:

Since they were instituted to be said quietly, and he is acting shelo k'din when he says them audibly, it would make sense not to answer amen.

R. Hershel Schachter (Mepininai HaRav, pg. 35) writes the following:

Our teacher (R. Yoshe Ber Soloveitchik) was careful to audibly speak each word (so that he could hear what he was saying), even of the quiet shemona esrai. And once, one of the students asked our teacher, if he [the student] should answer amen when he hears the brachos of our teacher's quiet shemona esrai. After some thought, our teacher answered that it would seem that one should not answer amen because these brachos should be said [according to the halacha] quietly, and they were never meant to be heard by others, and as such, amen was never instituted for them.

A practical distinction between the two lines of reasoning (RYSE and RSZA who are of the opinion that we don't answer amen because the bracha is shlo k'din and RYBS who held that we don't answer amen because chazal were never misaken amen on these brachos) would be in a case where the person is allowed to daven audibly. For example, a person who is davening alone and can be michaven better if he davens aloud, according to the first opinion (RYSE and RSZA) since he not acting shelo k'din, amen should be said, however, the second opinion (RYBS) would still not answer amen because the brachos of shemona esrai were not included in the takana of answering amen.

I found that the Elef Hamagen on the Mateh Efraim (582:43) rules that on Rosh Hashana or Yom Kippur, since it is permitted to daven shemona esrai audibly, if one hears his friends brachos he may answer amen.

Stuff from here and there

DavidOfLakewood has a thinly veiled threat. Good stuff.

Ever wonder what it would be like to go for a ride with the Blue Angels? Wonder no more!

iTunes/iPod may finally be getting some real competition.

It seems the rich are doing well. 4 out of 10 home purchases are second homes.

48 million people still don't use seatbelts.

Oh, and Skype is now free for those who are interested. Read about it here.

Lakewood Priorities

"Our town had a horrible crime visited upon us ..."
-Mayor Meir Lichtenstein

I don't think there has to be any more discussion about the actual event. The lack of sensitivity shown by some in the blogvelt is really saddening.

I would, however, like to discuss the reaction.

I think that it's a fait accompli that there will be an asifa for women. I think it's also pretty obvious who the speakers will be. I'm also quite sure that the main topic that will be addressed is Tzniyus.

And that, in my humble opinion, is very sad.

The gemarah tell us that when a tragedy befalls a member of a group, it must serve as a wake-up call to the entire group. As such, our entire community must view this as a message to improve our ways.

In the past, when there were tragic events that faced our community, the message was always tzniyus. My problem with this attitude is that it ignores half of the population. It addresses the women by saying this is YOUR problem. YOU need to improve in what YOU'RE doing. We men will continue in our holy ways and hope that YOU women can get a grip on YOUR issues.

Lakewood is a wonderful town, filled with talmidei chachomim, baalei chessed and anshei maaseh. But as is true of every place on earth, there are problems. And these problems need to be addressed. When wonderful frum, erlicher people are dragged through the mud when trying to get their children into school because of the sin of working for a living, there's a major problem. When any store owner that has been in business for a year has been to multiple dinei torah already, there's a major problem.

Of course tzniyus is a vital, important issue, and I don't mean to minimize it. But why don't we first focus on the more widespread issues? The ones that affect much more people, even men? Does God care about how someone wears a pocketbook or if their skirt has a kickpleat? He may, I don't know. But I DO know that He cares if people are publicly shamed, and if there's no honesty in financial matters.

Upsetting Behavior

Life-Of-Rubin writes about some upsetting behavior he experienced.

This is something many of us have experienced in different ways. There was a time when being frum meant that we had integrity. That time is gone. Of course many of us, perhaps even most of us are still honest people, but that is no longer the perception. Money has become more important than halachah to too many people.

Case in point: A friend of mine was looking for a house. A few days ago he found a house that may suit his needs, but it needed plenty of work. He called a "frum" construction guy to come look at the house with him so he would have some idea of the cost of renovation. The guy gave him an estimate and left. The next day the construction guy called the realtor and tried to buy the house (he obviously thought it was a good deal), after he had known that my friend had already made a verbal contract with the seller.

We all have our own stories.

It's sad, but some people just don't realize what being Jewish is all about. How do we go about fixing this? Sure, you try to teach your children as best as you can, and try to lead by example, but your kids still go to school. They still have friends. They are subject to different environments whether the parents like it or not.

Scary.

How could Hashem do that?

Gil at Hirhurim has a post on holocaust theodicy. Reading through the comments to that post I am amazed at how well some people think they understand G-d's ways. Moshe Rabainu asked Hashem to show him His ways. According to many meforshim, he was asking to understand why righteous people sometimes suffer while wicked people seem to live the good life. Hashem only answered him in part. A little bit of intellectual humility is certainly in order in any discussion of why Hashem acts in the way that He does.

Now for my own holocaust theodicy.

Avos 4:15

רבי ינאי אומר:
אין בידינו לא משלות הרשעים ואף לא מיסורי הצדיקים.

Rabbi Yannai used to say: It is not in our power to explain the well-being of the wicked or the sorrows of the righteous. (Translation courtesy of this site.)

Rav Hirsch expounds on this mishna:

Not only can we not explain the well being of the wicked or the sorrows of the righteous, we can not confidently declare any event to be either good or bad. We simply do not know what the long term plan is.

Dovid Hamelech says:

ו מַה-גָּדְלוּ מַעֲשֶׂיךָ יְהוָה; מְאֹד, עָמְקוּ מַחְשְׁבֹתֶיךָ.	6 How great are Thy works, O LORD! Thy thoughts are very deep.
ז אִישׁ-בַּעַר, לֹא יֵדָע; וּכְסִיל, לֹא-יָבִין אֶת-זֹאת.	7 A brutish man knoweth not, neither doth a fool understand this.
ח בִּפְרֹחַ רְשָׁעִים, כְּמוֹ עֵשֶׂב, וַיָּצִיצוּ, כָּל-פֹּעֲלֵי אָוֶן: לְהִשָּׁמְדָם עֲדֵי-עַד.	8 When the wicked spring up as the grass, and when all the workers of iniquity do flourish; it is that they may be destroyed for ever.

Rav Shimon Schwab explains this with a moshel:

On a trip to Florida, you visit Cape Canaveral. You are chosen to take a tour of an actual space shuttle. After being shown in to the cockpit, you stare in amazement at the vast array of dials, lights and buttons. After a few seconds you point to one little light and you ask the guide "Why is that light there? Shouldn't it be a little higher, like on the next row"?

Obviously, that's a stupid question. Not only don't you have a working knowledge of space shuttle technology, you don't even have a clue what that light is for! If you really want to understand why that light is where it is, first spend the time understanding the intricacies of shuttle technology and then you can begin to ask the questions.

That should be our approach to trying to understand Hashem's actions. Spend a lifetime immersed in the study of His torah and then begin asking the questions.

Bush Vs. Bush

George Bush and Steve Bridges at the White House Correspondents'. Association annual dinner.