The Convert

Shmulik, a religious Jew as well as a financial genius, left Brooklyn for a job as CFO of a well known brokerage firm in Utah (which is known as the Mormon state).

The pressure on the company president from the directors was immense:

"We can't have a Jew running the business - we're religious Mormons here," they said.
The president took Shmulik aside for a talk and explained unequivocally that he would have to convert if he wanted to hold on to this honorable (not to mention 6-figure-earning) position. Shmulik had no choice.

However difficult it might be to convert, it was less difficult than losing this great job. He went home and told his wife, "It's simple. From this Sunday on we'll be going to church with the kids".

So passed a good few months, but his wife wouldn't stop nagging him, saying, "It's so difficult for me, I miss Shabbat, lighting candles, kiddush, festivals...you know money isn't everything, Shmulik"

The more she nagged him, the more Shmulik's conscience bothered him too. Finally, he'd had enough. He went back to the president of the company and said "Listen, I can't go on like this, my guilt is eating me up inside. Money isn't everything. I can't even sleep at night, and neither can my wife. It's too much for me - I was born a Jew, and I want to die a Jew. If you want me to quit, I'll leave without making a fuss."

The president looked at him in amazement and said "Listen Samuel, [that's what they called him in Utah], I had no idea it was so tough for you. I figured changing religions would be a simple thing. You know what, you've been a great asset to the company. We need you here. Stay Jewish as you wish. Don't worry, I'll take care of the rest".

Shmulik went home with a thrill in his heart and a spring in his step. He ran to his wife (who was on the couch watching Ricki Lake) and said "Tzipporah, you won't believe it, a miracle happened! We're going back to being Jews, and it's OK! I talked to my boss and he's letting me keep my job!"

Tzippy (that's what they called her in Brooklyn) looked at him with eyes spitting fire and said "Tell me, ARE YOU NUTS!!!!!!!????!!"

Shmuel looked at her in shock. "But...but I thought that was what you wanted all along, what you were crying to me about day and night. What? You don't want to go back to being Jewish?"

Tzippy looked even more upset and said, "Of course I do - BUT NOW?!?!?! TWO WEEKS BEFORE PESACH?!?!?!?"